What About #62

Today I’m going to speak about a topic that lots of people don’t like; Death.
So if you’re that kind of person…. you may skip to the next post.

Some of you know that a few months ago I had a panic attack that came out of the blue. Well that event changed lots of things about my thoughts, including the way I see death. One of the symptoms of a pannic attack is the belief that we’re going to die at that moment.
Well I must say that when we find ourselves at the time of our final departure, our thoughts about ourselves change completely. Let me explain:

If you asked me before the “event” if I was afraid to die, I would have surely replied “No, not at all. On the contrary! I would love to meet my Lord”. But something has changed since. When I was waiting for my final breath, I knew that if I really died I wouldn’t have been at peace with myself, I wasn’t ready to meet my Lord. I saw myself so full of sins that I couldn’t be ending in heaven if I died. It’s a sort of reality or fear that appears when we’re confronted with death. It seems that all your “good” deeds are a mere drop in an ocean of bad ones.
I thought that in a few seconds, I would rise from the dead in the day of judgment.

You can realize this only when it’s too late to make things right. You feel that you’ve said too many bad things, and it’s too late you to turn back in time.
you feel that you could have done better, you could have given more, you could have made more peace with your loved ones, you could have been a better person over all. But when the time comes; it’s too late to make amendments. It’s a pitiful feeling of loss and deception over ourselves.

Since then, I’m frightened when I think about what I’ll feel and what I’ll be finding on the other side and I try to be as good as I can be for the sake of my poor conscious. So I suggest you to be as kind, generous, thoughtful , pious as possible while you’re in good health and alive