What About #62

Today I’m going to speak about a topic that lots of people don’t like; Death.
So if you’re that kind of person…. you may skip to the next post.

Some of you know that a few months ago I had a panic attack that came out of the blue. Well that event changed lots of things about my thoughts, including the way I see death. One of the symptoms of a pannic attack is the belief that we’re going to die at that moment.
Well I must say that when we find ourselves at the time of our final departure, our thoughts about ourselves change completely. Let me explain:

If you asked me before the “event” if I was afraid to die, I would have surely replied “No, not at all. On the contrary! I would love to meet my Lord”. But something has changed since. When I was waiting for my final breath, I knew that if I really died I wouldn’t have been at peace with myself, I wasn’t ready to meet my Lord. I saw myself so full of sins that I couldn’t be ending in heaven if I died. It’s a sort of reality or fear that appears when we’re confronted with death. It seems that all your “good” deeds are a mere drop in an ocean of bad ones.
I thought that in a few seconds, I would rise from the dead in the day of judgment.

You can realize this only when it’s too late to make things right. You feel that you’ve said too many bad things, and it’s too late you to turn back in time.
you feel that you could have done better, you could have given more, you could have made more peace with your loved ones, you could have been a better person over all. But when the time comes; it’s too late to make amendments. It’s a pitiful feeling of loss and deception over ourselves.

Since then, I’m frightened when I think about what I’ll feel and what I’ll be finding on the other side and I try to be as good as I can be for the sake of my poor conscious. So I suggest you to be as kind, generous, thoughtful , pious as possible while you’re in good health and alive

Author: Novus Lectio

You'll never know what you'll read next. Random lecture is what is all about but one thing is for sure, it's by the same author who wrote The Theory of Fate and Who Went Out of Africa

22 thoughts on “What About #62”

  1. I don’t want to sound depressed but I have always been fascinated by death. I like reading about it, and send hours thinking about it. Not about mine of course but usually when I hear about someone’s demise. And what a coincidence, a huge film star in India died yesterday, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Life is just so unpredictable. One moment you are there with your loved ones and in a flash you are gone, no chance to say good byes, no chance to tell people that you love them. And even if you have been a star your whole life, you are just a body when you die. like everyone else. and I guess the only difference is what you leave behind, your kind deeds, your love, your thoughts. You are just a memory, and you must try to be a good one. I don’t know about hell or heaven but I would want to be a good memory to people down here.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes i heard about her too. It’s sad. The best thing we can do is our best while we can ’cause everything matters when we die. Every thought , every word, every action is counted with or against us.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes… I guess we should always strive to be a better human being. Regardless of what happens after our death. Everything happens for a reason and I think your panic attack was for you to introspect on your life and strive harder to live better. I wish you the best in everything you do.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh’ Novus did u really went through a panic attack. Really? Its horrifying. Well! I have heard about it for the first time. I don’t know what happened but I guess my comment didn’t reached. You can really talk to me whenever u want. U always take my troubles but never tell your. Its not fair. Ok. Please I know I am very much younger to u but I’m capable enough to understand someone. I guess.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you dear. No your comment didn’t went through and it happens a lot in WP 😡
      😍thank you but it happened a few months ago, now I’m ok don’t worry. It is said that anxiety attacks sometimes end up in panic attacks. So there isn’t much to worry about, who doesn’t get anxious nowadays? So all is fine, and as I believe that everything has a purpose, i believe that the “event” was for my good, to help me see something i wasn’t aware of before

      Liked by 2 people

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